Curiosity killed the Martians (Probably)

So, I know I'm about a week late to this topic, but GUYS THERE'S WATER ON MARS!  Recently, NASA discovered certain hydrated salts, which can only be detected for a short time after water has been present in a certain area.  These basically confirm that a whole bunch of dark streaks (called recurring slope linage) on the planet's surface were, in fact, probably created by water.  Anyone who wants to read about the science in more detail, can do so here.

Naturally, this has a number of implications, including the idea that a manned journey to Mars has suddenly become a lot more feasible.

Little do they know, the tardigrades colonized Mars
thousands of years before humans even existed.

What really interested me, though, was that this proves that there is very probably microbial life on Mars.  Either that or some form of life we can't even begin to comprehend.  Although none of the news articles I read seemed to consider that second possibility, which I think is a major oversight on their part.

Either way, the probable existence of life on Mars means aliens in general probably exist, and proof of the existence of aliens will probably settle, once and for all, whether or not we are alone in the universe.  You know, probably.

Also, due to the probable existence of life on Mars, certain Mars rovers, like Curiosity, have been forbidden from going near the water deposits.  Apparently, a treaty (aptly named the "Outer Space Treaty") exists between all Earth nations forbidding anyone to send a robot to an extraterrestrial water deposit without first irradiating it to the point of uselessness (to kill any potentially harmful Earth bugs).

This is, of course, assuming that Curiosity isn't
already covered in invisible Martian moss.

So, despite how funny it may be to picture Curiosity lumbering, Wall-E style, over Martian terrain for a year, just to confirm something we probably already know, it's probably for the best if the robots stay sufficiently far away from any Martian rivers.  Probably.

And, although I personally find the idea that water is essential to the survival of all life a bit restricting, it is the best lead we have in the quest for extraterrestrials, so we might as well follow it.

Until next time, from beyond the stars,

Chris

Entropy

Entropy is defined as a lack of order or predictability, or the natural inclination for things to fall into chaos.  In less wordy words, it means things change, usually by way of total societal collapse, in the most melodramatic fashion possible.  Or, failing that, by a convoluted mixture of laziness, random chance, and luck, with the occasional dash of poetic justice thrown in for laughs.  I like entropy because it's a soft pretty word meant to describe a generally loud, unpleasant topic.  It defines change as a giant butterfly knocking down a house of cards.

The butterfly effect is real.  Fear it.

I recently realized that I have not updated this blog in the past two years, which is contrary to my original goal of spreading zombie awareness, which would probably require posting slightly more often than never.  Honestly, I've been meaning to get around to it, but it turns out you process time a little differently when you realize you are never going to change.  Ever.  No matter how many giant butterflies are fluttering around you.  Time sure flies when you're undead.

That being said, my house of cards was by no means immune to the hypothetical swarm of giant butterflies.  Prior to my last post in 2013, things were looking up.  I mean, no major disasters had happened since Christmas, and the most I was worrying about was making it through my senior year of high school.  Unfortunately, we were ambushed by a group of zombie hunters shortly afterward.  The actual attack and ensuing weeks are a complete blank for me.  I have absolutely no idea what happened.  I do know that about a month later I woke up covered in blood in an abandoned warehouse two states away.

Naturally, I immediately returned to our house, only to discover that it had been burned to the ground.  Since then, I've been wandering, just trying to stay out of trouble.  I have no idea where any of the other members of the society are, or even if they're still alive.  Honestly, it's probably better that way.  Like it or not, large groups of zombies are dangerous, even if they are friendly.

Stupid giant butterflies

......................WOW that was depressing.  Also weird.  And disjointed.  I apologize.

Anyway, in recent months, I've been trying to pull my unlife back together, and I wanted to continue the blog.  When I started this blog, I wanted to post at least once a week.  Now, I look back on my younger self and scoff.  I'll try to update regularly, but I'm not one for keeping schedules.  If you like what I write, great! But I'm rebuilding a very large house of cards, and giant butterflies are not known for their negotiation skills.......

With love and brains,

Chris

Metamorphosis

So, apparently today is Franz Kafka's birthday.  For anyone who doesn't know, he's the guy who wrote Metamorphosis (the one where the guy turns into a dung beetle), which I've recently had to read for summer English homework.
Honestly, I like the Google doodle better than the actual book.

UPDATES!!!!

*pokes head around corner*
Um...sorry I haven't posted in over two months.....I've been super busy....with finals and AP tests and stuff......please don't kill me!
But, a lot of stuff happened during my radio silence.

• I was going to do an Easter post, but Jim's old friend - sorry, acquaintance - Edward showed up and decided to crash for a while.  And, while Ed is, in all fairness, a pretty cool guy, he tends to disregard human life a little more than we'd like, so we try to keep him under close watch when he's in town.  Fortunately, his two week visit passed without major incident.
• Cherri's and Robert's birthdays happened! Yay!
• My birthday's tomorrow! Yay!
• Jace successfully graduated high school! Yay!
• Jess tricked Jace into eating a piece of turkey about a month ago.  He got really upset, but he's back to his usual, vegetarian self.
• Last week, I started working on a way to reduce the size of the visors to compensate for Robert's glasses.  I'm still in the planning stages, but with any luck I'll have results before the new school year starts in August.

And that...brings you up to date.  I'll try not to stay dormant for too long any more....

Life Lesson Learned

Contrary to popular belief, the laws of physics apply to electric mixers.  In other words, if your mixers are covered in cake batter and you turn them on, cake batter will go flying everywhere.....

True Story

We broke into the theatre teacher's office with the principal's keys.

Love Conquers All

Sooooooooooo, it's been a while.  There was a little bit of a rough period there (Alien is freaking INSANE), but we got things sorted out.  And we're back!  Just in time for Valentine's Day.  Aren't we lucky.
Valentine's has many names, including Single's Awareness Day, Forever Alone Day, and my personal favorite, I Hate Red And Pink Day.  Notice how only one of those has a positive connotation?  That's because, if you're single, Valentine's Day is a REALLY sucky holiday.  But today, I get to tell a happy story.
So it turns out Robert, one of the new zombies, has a crush on one of the people he used to work with.  You know, one of those silent, not-quite-stalker relationships.  Well, turns out, dying sort of triggered something in his brain, and he decided to declare his undying love for her.  Today.
I know, a lot of you are already thinking this is going to end badly, but remember, this is a happy story.  So Robert, who isn't allowed out of any of our sights, somehow managed to sneak away, purchase a small stuffed rabbit, walk straight into the office building where she works, and present it to her.  By the time we found him, they were making plans for a date.  Next week.
Turns out, she had felt the same about him for the past few years.  And she didn't give a damn about his current dead state.  Which just made it extra sweet for Robert.
So I guess love really does conquer all.  Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!