Sunday, October 4, 2015

Curiosity killed the Martians (Probably)

So, I know I'm about a week late to this topic, but GUYS THERE'S WATER ON MARS!  Recently, NASA discovered certain hydrated salts, which can only be detected for a short time after water has been present in a certain area.  These basically confirm that a whole bunch of dark streaks (called recurring slope linage) on the planet's surface were, in fact, probably created by water.  Anyone who wants to read about the science in more detail, can do so here.

Naturally, this has a number of implications, including the idea that a manned journey to Mars has suddenly become a lot more feasible.

Little do they know, the tardigrades colonized Mars
thousands of years before humans even existed.

What really interested me, though, was that this proves that there is very probably microbial life on Mars.  Either that or some form of life we can't even begin to comprehend.  Although none of the news articles I read seemed to consider that second possibility, which I think is a major oversight on their part.

Either way, the probable existence of life on Mars means aliens in general probably exist, and proof of the existence of aliens will probably settle, once and for all, whether or not we are alone in the universe.  You know, probably.

Also, due to the probable existence of life on Mars, certain Mars rovers, like Curiosity, have been forbidden from going near the water deposits.  Apparently, a treaty (aptly named the "Outer Space Treaty") exists between all Earth nations forbidding anyone to send a robot to an extraterrestrial water deposit without first irradiating it to the point of uselessness (to kill any potentially harmful Earth bugs).

This is, of course, assuming that Curiosity isn't
already covered in invisible Martian moss.

So, despite how funny it may be to picture Curiosity lumbering, Wall-E style, over Martian terrain for a year, just to confirm something we probably already know, it's probably for the best if the robots stay sufficiently far away from any Martian rivers.  Probably.

And, although I personally find the idea that water is essential to the survival of all life a bit restricting, it is the best lead we have in the quest for extraterrestrials, so we might as well follow it.

Until next time, from beyond the stars,

Thursday, October 1, 2015


Entropy is defined as a lack of order or predictability, or the natural inclination for things to fall into chaos.  In less wordy words, it means things change, usually by way of total societal collapse, in the most melodramatic fashion possible.  Or, failing that, by a convoluted mixture of laziness, random chance, and luck, with the occasional dash of poetic justice thrown in for laughs.  I like entropy because it's a soft pretty word meant to describe a generally loud, unpleasant topic.  It defines change as a giant butterfly knocking down a house of cards.

The butterfly effect is real.  Fear it.

I recently realized that I have not updated this blog in the past two years, which is contrary to my original goal of spreading zombie awareness, which would probably require posting slightly more often than never.  Honestly, I've been meaning to get around to it, but it turns out you process time a little differently when you realize you are never going to change.  Ever.  No matter how many giant butterflies are fluttering around you.  Time sure flies when you're undead.

That being said, my house of cards was by no means immune to the hypothetical swarm of giant butterflies.  Prior to my last post in 2013, things were looking up.  I mean, no major disasters had happened since Christmas, and the most I was worrying about was making it through my senior year of high school.  Unfortunately, we were ambushed by a group of zombie hunters shortly afterward.  The actual attack and ensuing weeks are a complete blank for me.  I have absolutely no idea what happened.  I do know that about a month later I woke up covered in blood in an abandoned warehouse two states away.

Naturally, I immediately returned to our house, only to discover that it had been burned to the ground.  Since then, I've been wandering, just trying to stay out of trouble.  I have no idea where any of the other members of the society are, or even if they're still alive.  Honestly, it's probably better that way.  Like it or not, large groups of zombies are dangerous, even if they are friendly.

Stupid giant butterflies

......................WOW that was depressing.  Also weird.  And disjointed.  I apologize.

Anyway, in recent months, I've been trying to pull my unlife back together, and I wanted to continue the blog.  When I started this blog, I wanted to post at least once a week.  Now, I look back on my younger self and scoff.  I'll try to update regularly, but I'm not one for keeping schedules.  If you like what I write, great! But I'm rebuilding a very large house of cards, and giant butterflies are not known for their negotiation skills.......

With love and brains,