Saturday, December 22, 2012

The End of the World as we Know It (Or Not)

So, obviously, since we're all still here, the world did not end yesterday.  Shocker.  However, yesterday was quite the adventure for the society.
So, I was sitting in class, waiting for school to get out (yes, the last day of the semester was indeed yesterday) when a feral zombie (one that doesn't have control over it's actions) came shambling into the room.  So, I knocked him out, then grabbed an extra visor (never leave home without one) and clamped it over his ear.  No sooner had that little episode finished, than I got a call from Dragon, who said, very plainly, "ZOMBIES!!!!"  In other words, there were more, and we wouldn't be able to save most of them.
There was a lot of fighting after that, as we tried to save the town.  If this comes as a surprise to you, it shouldn't.  See, we're funded by the government, and if they die, we're cut off.  Also, I actually like most of the people who live here.  Some notable events:
  1. We saved comment Lea from a zombie orthodontist right when he was about to tear into her skull.
  2. When we realized it was Lea he was trying to eat, we proceeded to run away, because she's terrified of zombies and I worked really hard getting her to accept me.  I have a feeling that's going to come back to haunt me later.
  3. Jess and Cherri ran into that Xander guy and started viciously attacking him.  When asked to justify this, they started ranting about how much of a jerk he was and that he deserved worse. I really can't say I blame them, but he was doing a pretty good job containing the problem.
  4. Jace caught them in the act, saved his life, and "set phasers to stun."  In other words, he hit him on the back of the head with a gun, and dragged him into a nearby hospital.
  5. Fun fact: a zombified cat is way harder to kill than a regular zombie.  You have to shoot it eight times before it finally stops moving.
  6. Eventually, the guy from the beginning woke up and had a nervous breakdown.  Apparently his name's Robert and he was the first victim.  He did, however, give a pretty good description of the culprit.  All this happened in front of my friend Myra, who then texted me the info.
  7. We eventually found the culprit hiding in the ally behind a major tech company.  Her name's Alien (as far as we can tell) and she's a ditzy little girl who apparently forgot she was a zombie before biting one of the employees in the arm.
So the zombie outbreak was successfully subdued and we have two new members.  Robert Thomas has replaced Jace as the new guy, something Jace is very proud of.  Alien Cooper is actually 35 years old, was zombified at age nine, and is exactly one inch shorter than me, something I am very proud of.  Also, it was Dragon's birthday yesterday.  She's 18 now, and the universe gave her a miniature apocalypse.  Happy birthday, Dragon.
In other news, it turns out the calender in the oreo cookie joke from before the apocalypse is actually the Aztec calender.  So, I did a little research, and this is what the Mayan calender actually looks like:
Aaaaaaaaaand that's about it, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Festivus, etc.  Until next year!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Friday, December 7, 2012

Life and Penguins

Yeah, so, a lot of minor things have been happening lately.
First, Dragon decided she had ESP a couple weeks ago.  There was a really long conversation to follow, but it all boils down to the idea that esp is not extra sensory perception but really elastically steamed penguins.  Yeah, we're not sure how this came about either, but it's funny.
Second, I'm in this club called MESA (that's Mathematics, Engineering, Science, and Achievement).  Anyway, there was a competition last weekend where we had to essentiallybuild a car and make it run on a flat surface.  And my team, consisting of me, Jace, Joellen, and Lea (yes, comment Lea) got first place.  YAY!!  I might post a picture of the girls and our car.....eventually.....but it's really exciting.
Third, I learned how to solve a rubick's cube.
Fourth, and probably most important, is this.  If you read the comments section, you probably know that there's this guy, Xander Johnson, who has been posting some pretty nasty things on my blog.  Well, it turns out he's an old friend of Jace's.  It also turns out that he's a zombie hunter.  Jace is really sorry for bringing him into this.  But, Xander Johnson, know that if you even try to bring this group down, or hurt us in any way, we will end you.  We havn't done anything wrong, we just happen to be dead.  Not a crime, especially when we're trying to better ourselves.  Got it?
Fifth, schoolwork is hell, which is why I havn't posted since Thanksgiving.  Which was delicious.  I'll try to be better in the future.