The End of the World as we Know It (Or Not)

So, obviously, since we're all still here, the world did not end yesterday.  Shocker.  However, yesterday was quite the adventure for the society.
So, I was sitting in class, waiting for school to get out (yes, the last day of the semester was indeed yesterday) when a feral zombie (one that doesn't have control over it's actions) came shambling into the room.  So, I knocked him out, then grabbed an extra visor (never leave home without one) and clamped it over his ear.  No sooner had that little episode finished, than I got a call from Dragon, who said, very plainly, "ZOMBIES!!!!"  In other words, there were more, and we wouldn't be able to save most of them.
There was a lot of fighting after that, as we tried to save the town.  If this comes as a surprise to you, it shouldn't.  See, we're funded by the government, and if they die, we're cut off.  Also, I actually like most of the people who live here.  Some notable events:

1. We saved comment Lea from a zombie orthodontist right when he was about to tear into her skull.
2. When we realized it was Lea he was trying to eat, we proceeded to run away, because she's terrified of zombies and I worked really hard getting her to accept me.  I have a feeling that's going to come back to haunt me later.
3. Jess and Cherri ran into that Xander guy and started viciously attacking him.  When asked to justify this, they started ranting about how much of a jerk he was and that he deserved worse. I really can't say I blame them, but he was doing a pretty good job containing the problem.
4. Jace caught them in the act, saved his life, and "set phasers to stun."  In other words, he hit him on the back of the head with a gun, and dragged him into a nearby hospital.
5. Fun fact: a zombified cat is way harder to kill than a regular zombie.  You have to shoot it eight times before it finally stops moving.
6. Eventually, the guy from the beginning woke up and had a nervous breakdown.  Apparently his name's Robert and he was the first victim.  He did, however, give a pretty good description of the culprit.  All this happened in front of my friend Myra, who then texted me the info.
7. We eventually found the culprit hiding in the ally behind a major tech company.  Her name's Alien (as far as we can tell) and she's a ditzy little girl who apparently forgot she was a zombie before biting one of the employees in the arm.

So the zombie outbreak was successfully subdued and we have two new members.  Robert Thomas has replaced Jace as the new guy, something Jace is very proud of.  Alien Cooper is actually 35 years old, was zombified at age nine, and is exactly one inch shorter than me, something I am very proud of.  Also, it was Dragon's birthday yesterday.  She's 18 now, and the universe gave her a miniature apocalypse.  Happy birthday, Dragon.
In other news, it turns out the calender in the oreo cookie joke from before the apocalypse is actually the Aztec calender.  So, I did a little research, and this is what the Mayan calender actually looks like:

Aaaaaaaaaand that's about it, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Festivus, etc.  Until next year!

End of the World?

I'm gonna have to agree with the Oreo on this one.

Life and Penguins

Yeah, so, a lot of minor things have been happening lately.
First, Dragon decided she had ESP a couple weeks ago.  There was a really long conversation to follow, but it all boils down to the idea that esp is not extra sensory perception but really elastically steamed penguins.  Yeah, we're not sure how this came about either, but it's funny.
Second, I'm in this club called MESA (that's Mathematics, Engineering, Science, and Achievement).  Anyway, there was a competition last weekend where we had to essentiallybuild a car and make it run on a flat surface.  And my team, consisting of me, Jace, Joellen, and Lea (yes, comment Lea) got first place.  YAY!!  I might post a picture of the girls and our car.....eventually.....but it's really exciting.
Third, I learned how to solve a rubick's cube.
Fourth, and probably most important, is this.  If you read the comments section, you probably know that there's this guy, Xander Johnson, who has been posting some pretty nasty things on my blog.  Well, it turns out he's an old friend of Jace's.  It also turns out that he's a zombie hunter.  Jace is really sorry for bringing him into this.  But, Xander Johnson, know that if you even try to bring this group down, or hurt us in any way, we will end you.  We havn't done anything wrong, we just happen to be dead.  Not a crime, especially when we're trying to better ourselves.  Got it?
Fifth, schoolwork is hell, which is why I havn't posted since Thanksgiving.  Which was delicious.  I'll try to be better in the future.

Thanksgiving

As many of you may know, there is a very important holiday coming up.  Thanksgiving is a very important time of the year.  It is a day we celebrate what we have and are grateful for having it.  Of course, it's also a day we eat food.  Lots of food.  Did you know that Americans consume roughly 46 million turkeys a year on Thanksgiving?  That's a scary stat, especially if you're a turkey.
Now, as zombies, we don't really stress the Thanksgiving feast, and a lot of the people we know are grateful for that.  However, we do understand what Thanksgiving is all about, and we take the time to be thankful that we are still on this earth, have all of our original limbs, have higher brain functions that work, and most importantly, haven't had any death (or is it undeath?) threats in a long time.  And that's something to cherish.
Happy Turkey Day, America!! And, for those of you not in America, happy third Thursday in November!

On a Much Happier Note....

Jace has just reentered the technology world!!  He has taken the initiative and set up an e-mail address.  This is a step in the right direction on his part, because it means he's not only successfully adjusting to life as a zombie, but taking the initiative to be an active part of the world.  ......or something like that.  Anyway, it's really cool, and he deserves congratulation.  His new address is secondzombitwin@gmail.com.

Afterlife and Forgiveness and Stuff

Hey, um....so I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while.  It's been a pretty stressful month for the Society.
So, I was really mad at Jace for posting about my dark side on Halloween.  So mad....I sorta went right back into demon mode and tried to eat his face.  But, Jace has been pretty stressed lately, with school and refusing to eat because he's a vegetarian, and I guess he just.....snapped.  He lost it and started attacking me back.  Dragon and Jess had to pull us apart and lock us away until we calmed down.  Yeah...neither of us are proud of that.......
Anyway, this set off a red flag for Jim.  We had always assumed that Jace was a shambler, meaning he shouldn't have been able to summon the energy to hit me, let alone go all ragey on my demon and fight back.  Also, his eyes turned red last week, which is never a good sign.
For those of you who don't know, there are three basic types of zombies.  The most common is the  shambler, which is your common slow, unenergetic zombie.  Alone, shamblers are actually pretty harmless, but they can be really scary in large groups.  Jim's a perfect example of a shambler.
There's also the rage zombie.  There are a variety of strands of rage zombies, but they are always pumped with adrenaline and way too energetic for their own good.  As you may have already guessed, Jess and Dragon are rage zombies.
The third type is the necromatic zombie.  That's me.  Necromatic zombies are created by using a human sacrifice to summon a demon.  The demon comes, possesses the sacrifice, and usually eats it's creator.  The sacrifice's soul is left to watch the carnage the demon causes, but there is nothing it can do anything about.  I'm lucky, because I managed to retain control of my own body most of the time.  Both necromatic and rage zombies are really damn scary.
 So, Jim ran a few tests, and it turns out that Jace something called a "dormant-rage" zombie.  That means that he acts like a shambler most of the time, but he becomes a high energy rage zombie whenever he's in danger or rrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyy mad.  Like, more mad than I have to be to lose it, which is saying something.
I wouldn't have told you this, but I realized something.  I made this blog on the concept of acceptance, and it's foolish to accept something if you don't have a relatively thorough knowledge of it.  And that means you need to know that the zombie society isn't exactly as harmless as I've tried to make us out to be.  So, yeah.  I forgave Jace for Halloween's post, and I'll try to be more open with you from now on.  Until next time!

Jace: Attack of the Christopher Demons

Hey! Chris can't update today, but I thought you would want a Halloween post, as zombies are a really big part of Halloween, so I took it upon myself to post something for you.  Yeah, this is Jace.

As it turns out, when Chris says he was killed in an unholy ritual, he means that he was sacrificed and his body was taken by an unholy demon from hell, or something like that.  Yeah, it surprised me too. 

Anyway, Chris apparently made a pact with his demon so he's in control most of the time.  Thing is, the demon comes out whenever he gets really upset, and every year on the day he died.  Which is Halloween.  So Chris is scarier than Dragon now and chained in a locked vault with so many drugs pumped into him that he's higher than most stoners.  And there's, like, a billion fire extinguishers outside it.

So Chris is entirely justified for hating Halloween.  In other news, the haunted house is epic and Jess and Dragon have scared about five hundred kids now.  I think they're having fun.

And, that's it! Happy Halloween everyone!!!!!