Hey! Chris can't update today, but I thought you would want a Halloween post, as zombies are a really big part of Halloween, so I took it upon myself to post something for you. Yeah, this is Jace.
As it turns out, when Chris says he was killed in an unholy ritual, he means that he was sacrificed and his body was taken by an unholy demon from hell, or something like that. Yeah, it surprised me too.
Anyway, Chris apparently made a pact with his demon so he's in control most of the time. Thing is, the demon comes out whenever he gets really upset, and every year on the day he died. Which is Halloween. So Chris is scarier than Dragon now and chained in a locked vault with so many drugs pumped into him that he's higher than most stoners. And there's, like, a billion fire extinguishers outside it.
So Chris is entirely justified for hating Halloween. In other news, the haunted house is epic and Jess and Dragon have scared about five hundred kids now. I think they're having fun.
And, that's it! Happy Halloween everyone!!!!!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
The Scariest Night of the Year
As you all know (or at least, all of you in the United States) Halloween is less than a week away. Now, many of you may be thinking that this is the biggest night of the year for the Zombie Society. Many of you also may be surprised to hear that it's not actually that big of a deal. The main attraction is Dragon's scared children record. She tries to beat her record for scaring little kids every year. Her current record is 500.
That said, it should be pointed out that this will be Jess and Jace's first Halloween as zombies. They are planning a haunted house, and have been planning or putting up decorations all the time, except when Jace is in school. Apparently they do this every year, but they're putting a lot more work in this year. It should be fun.
As for me, I don't really like Halloween. It has a lot to do with the fact that that was the day I died. It seems pretty intuitive that that would ruin the night for the rest of my life (or afterlife).
That said, it should be pointed out that this will be Jess and Jace's first Halloween as zombies. They are planning a haunted house, and have been planning or putting up decorations all the time, except when Jace is in school. Apparently they do this every year, but they're putting a lot more work in this year. It should be fun.
As for me, I don't really like Halloween. It has a lot to do with the fact that that was the day I died. It seems pretty intuitive that that would ruin the night for the rest of my life (or afterlife).
Monday, October 15, 2012
Broken Fingers
I broke my finger today. In history class. But that's ok, my friends and I fixed it with Elmer's glue and a purple ribbon.
Here's a picture:
See, all better^^.
Alright, show of hands, who thought I broke my actual finger? If you did, then my mission is fulfilled.
Now, some of you are probably wondering about my last post. Why would a zombie choose unicorns? Well, when you think about it logically, zombies are dead people who add you to their ranks if they bite you, and actually really scary in large groups. They're often said to bring about the apocalypse. Unicorns, on the other hand, are magical horses with sharp pointy horns sticking out of their heads and amazing healing abilities. If a zombie got in a fight with a unicorn, there is no way the zombie could win. The unicorn would just keep healing itself, giving it enough time to thoroughly impale the zombie if it so desired.
That said, I try to stay away from unicorns.
Here's a picture:
Alright, show of hands, who thought I broke my actual finger? If you did, then my mission is fulfilled.
Now, some of you are probably wondering about my last post. Why would a zombie choose unicorns? Well, when you think about it logically, zombies are dead people who add you to their ranks if they bite you, and actually really scary in large groups. They're often said to bring about the apocalypse. Unicorns, on the other hand, are magical horses with sharp pointy horns sticking out of their heads and amazing healing abilities. If a zombie got in a fight with a unicorn, there is no way the zombie could win. The unicorn would just keep healing itself, giving it enough time to thoroughly impale the zombie if it so desired.
That said, I try to stay away from unicorns.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
I heart Dead People
I think we can all agree that necrophiliacs are freakin' scary.
Also, apparently you can't do a <3 in the post title.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Smoky Smoking Smokers
Sometimes I like to go up to teen smokers and tell them I died of lung cancer caused by second hand smoke. Then I calmly stroll away. Most of those smokers are scared of me and/or have now stopped smoking.
Just to clear something up, I didn't actually die of lung cancer. I died in a demonic ritual which I don't really like to talk about. I know this seems like a really horrible thing to do, but it is helping to make our city a better place. Not to mention save lives. Smoking in high school is not a smart decision. It shrivels and blackens your lungs and shortens your life span. It also makes you really depressed. High school's stressful enough without a heap of depressing drugs. That's also why you shouldn't drink. Just throwing that out there.
Just to clear something up, I didn't actually die of lung cancer. I died in a demonic ritual which I don't really like to talk about. I know this seems like a really horrible thing to do, but it is helping to make our city a better place. Not to mention save lives. Smoking in high school is not a smart decision. It shrivels and blackens your lungs and shortens your life span. It also makes you really depressed. High school's stressful enough without a heap of depressing drugs. That's also why you shouldn't drink. Just throwing that out there.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Cat's out of the Bag
Cherri recently discovered the internet, and she asked me to post this....
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/09/14/stowaway-cat-survives-plane-ride-in-suitcase/
It is actually pretty awesome.
........
Yep.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/09/14/stowaway-cat-survives-plane-ride-in-suitcase/
It is actually pretty awesome.
........
Yep.
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